April 30th Regina, SK at Ohanlons w/ Hot Blood Bombers, Amelia Earhart, Miesha and the Spanks (W)

After leaving a good two hours after schedule, we crammed every nook and cranny of the cream dream (the “will it fit” tour), in my mad rush to get this leg of driving over with, I got a speeding ticket twenty minutes into the trip.

“Yes sir”
“No sir”
“Christian rock”.

We keep going, pretending that the first half of Saskatchewan was a bad dream, get to the venue and I drop my iPhone getting out of the van. SMASHED, which more or less the closest thing you can get to a bad omen in the 21st century.

Show in Regina at Ohanlons was pretty good, if not excellent in spite of the weird start to the tour. Amelia Earhart and Endangered Ape play a combined 30 minutes, as the sound-guy seems less than thrilled to have 2 extra bands jump on the bill.

May 1st in Winnipeg, MB at The Rocker w/Amelia Earhart, Hot Blood
Bombers, Slattern, Dead Ranch (W)

Winnipeg is one of my favourite cities, but shows there are notoriously hit or miss for us. Played at a club called “The Rocker”, which is approximately 10 stories above Mondragon cafe, which of course means dragging our gear up a thousand flights of stairs. Weak turnout, but Radam turns in an inspired performance – stripping straight down to his skivvies and going buck-wild. Highlight of the night was Julia (of The Gorgon, who put the show on for us) doing her solo work as Slattern, a kind of Zola Jesus via Julie Cruise thing. So amazing. My rotten tooth started acting up and I spent most of their set in search of pain relief and whining about my iPhone.

May 2nd in Thunder Bay, ON at The Apollo w/ Amelia Earhart, Hot Blood Bombers, Shaggy Chords (W)

Finally out of the Prairies, and new territory for most of us (no one in
the van had ever driven through the Canadian Shield, preferring rightly to fly over it). Arrived in Thunder Bay at The Apollo to band quarters, a home-cooked meal and the most enthusiasm we had had in a long time. Not many people came, but the people there seemed to really like the show. Afterwards was the hardest night of debauchery that I have personally experienced in 10+ years, involving a game called “EDWARD 40 HANDS” that involves ductaping two forties to your hands and not removing the bottles until they are finished. Everyone puked except for Ryan, and we didn’t end up leaving town until well after lunch the next day, which was a bad choice considering the thirteen hour drive we had in front of us.

May 5th in Toronto, On at Rancho Relaxo w/ Deuttsches Banks, Hot Blood Bombers, Ugly Stick (W)

Lucky for us, we have our bff from Lethbridge Gillian here in Toronto,
or we would have been royally fucked. We showed up on Monday, our show on the Wednesday is cancelled, leaving us with one chance to leave a good impression on the fine citizens of Toronto. We played at the Rancho Relaxo with two fantastic local bands Deutsches Banks and my personal favourite Toronto band, Ugly Stick – both bands KILLED, and we had a great turnout for a Tuesday night. Three full days in Toronto, and I think we’ve all fallen in love with this city – I want to stay.

We are hanging out in Toronto today (Karaoke?), and then heading to Ottawa tomorrow. We are all rested, and in good spirits, except I think Radam has the Swine-Flu.

So, we drove up to play this Factory party thing tonight. Sharp Ends cautioned us against playing this, but we were like “so many people will be there” and so we did it anyways. In fact, there were way too many people – a thousand maybe? Didn’t matter, because only maybe a dozen or so people seemed to be paying attention anyway. Lesson learned: never play a show for exposure (people die from exposure).

Aside from playing a chaotic and sloppy set (which we collectively pointed to the fact that no one could hear the drums, and thus we were fucked) to a bunch of people who were trying their hardest to talk over us (and somehow succeeding??), Adam was locking shit down and doing his thing and for the most part we succeeded in entertaining ourselves. It sounded so bad on stage, it got to the “so bad its good” point, and I think it was rescued in the end. As our super-friend Martine said on the way home “it sounded like an Endangered Ape set,” which I think made all of us feel a little better. Gotta start working on some new, less wall-of-sound type songs to switch things up.

Also: tonight might have been the last time we ever play Gullwing Doors live. Too much trouble with that song live – someone is always out of tune on that song for some reason.
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Starting to collect some good quotes that people have written about us. Here are three:

“Endangered Ape spit out some really interesting synthy-punk with some Eighties Brit-wave moves. Probably the best stuff on the tape.” – Rich Kroneiss, Terminal Boredom, March 2009

“Endangered Ape shows are like watching what would happen if Ian Curtis went to live among wild jungle creatures for a decade and came back inspired” – Aurgasim, March 2009

“Most solo bedroom projects turned full bands lose the intimacy that a solo project provides but with Endangered Ape, their recordings’ lo-fi production gives them the best of both worlds: at the moment, they can sound like a post-punk version of Simply Saucer if they want to (and they do) but their aesthetic ensures continuity between their past, present, and future, so that no matter what they choose to sound like, they will always maintain at least some singularity.“- Kallen Law, Beatroute Magazine, December 2008

Played this thing as a covers band, which isn’t really my thing, but it is for a good cause so we roll with it. Our first show since December, though doesn’t really count as a show because we played covers (Buzzcocks, Mekons, Ramones + “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by Bruce Cockburn and “Lick it Up” by Kiss”). Crowd went wild and we had a dozen drunk, shirtless dudes in “the pit” by the end of the show.

Wednesday, February 18 @ The Ship and Anchor in Calgary W/ Miesha and the Spanks / Hot Blood Bombers (W)

Given how badly we felt about the last show we played in Calgary in December, we felt we had something to prove here. Things started out rough, with the typical Calgary “meh” thing going on again, but then Adam yells “fuck you Calgary” and was running in the red for the rest of the show. The raw energy that came out of nowhere from Adam ramped the rest of us up and we burned through the set leaving nothing to chance. I know on stage you have to act like you are cool as shit at all times, but I couldn’t help myself from keeping the giggles suppressed when Adam was convulsing on the ground. This was the last time we played with James Leroy on drums).

Friday, March 13 2009 @ The Palomino in Calgary. W/ Fox Opera, Hunter/Gatherer (W)

Debut of Endangered Ape lineup #108 (now w/ Evan Van Reekum on Guitar, Ryan Grieve on Drums). Played a really good set again here. Ryan, our new drummer is fucking amazing, and it really kicks things up a notch for us. Poor Evan, whose stupid Vox amp was inaudible for most of the set, which is the same thing that happened to Kent the last time we played here. Either way, went really well. Decided to hit the Blackfoot Diner after the show, which meant that we didn’t get back to Lethbridge until 6am. Guh.

Saturday, March 14 2009 @The GCBC Lounge in Lethbridge w/ Amelia Earhart, Hunter/Gatherer, The Fox Opera (W)

The first “real” show we played in Lethbridge since November, this one was awesome again, except for Evan’s amp deciding to crap out again. The trooper he is, he kept going anyways. Almost an L for me personally because it was so hot in the GCBC that I had sweat stinging my eyes during the whole set. Hometown crowd was into it though, and came through for us again. Lethbridge seems like paradise compared to a lot of the other places we play.

Tuesday, March 17th @The Ottoman Lounge in Medicine Hat w/ Amelia Earhart, Nobody Knows We’re Robots (W)

Playing in Morlockville at The Ottoman, which has the most amazing light-up stage.  Other than that, the setup of the room with tables everywhere stacks the odds against us, as people tend to sit here, and (for whatever reason), I am convinced that when people sit at shows they aren’t enjoying themselves as much. You look at a bunch of people sitting down at a show, they look like docile cattle. You see the same group standing up, they get into it – dancing (or at least “doing the stand-still”) breaks out, people get close and feel the collective effervescence. Either way, Adam handles himself like a pro and goes insane anyways, sitting at peoples tables and screaming in their faces. I think we won the group over.

Wednesday, March 18th @The Zoo in Lethbridge w/ BA Johnston, The Stables (L)

Wasn’t feeling it tonight. We’ve been playing lots this week, and feeling anxious about our trip to Winnipeg and back… just din’t click. Adam and I got annoyed with each others antics, the sound was shite, the crowd (mostly people I didn’t recognize) spent our set deciding whether or not they were into it or not (except for the one dude at the front who sometimes comes to our shows and rocks out super hard – on stage I asked him what his name was and he yells in the mic “MIKE DOYLE!” – which was pretty funny. BA and the Stables were great.

Thursday, March 19 @Maguires in Saskatoon with Sisters, Feral Children, The Friends Electric, Sharp Ends (W)

Even though barely anyone came, we had to sit through the longest soundcheck I’ve ever had the disprivledge to sit through, and Ryan from Feral Children lost money on the show (sorry Ryan!!), and we didn’t get paid… we sounded awesome tonight. Out of the exhaustion of waking up at 6am to get a radio interview-thingy on CFCR to show up and have no one there, we’ve never sounded better. Complete wall of sound clusterfuck, Adam crashing through a banquet table, everything came together, hence the W.

Friday, March 20 @The Royal Albert Arms w/ Sharp Ends, Haunter, The Electric Candles (W)

This one is another boarderline W/L. Like Saskatoon, we played to a mostly empty room of unenthusiastic people. We were playing against a Propaghandi show a block over, and when that got out, the Albert filled up (after we played, so at least Sharp Ends got to blow some minds). On the other hand, we played our hearts out again, and the stage/room sound at The Albert is the best I’ve ever experienced.

If we as a band are going to take the plunge into becoming a touring band, we gotta take our lumps – we gotta play to no-one and walk away cash poor. If we are doing this for the love of the craft and not for money or fame, then we gotta take these shows for what they are – an exercise in asserting our existence and relevance, building an audience one member at a time. When people talk about “paying your dues” – this show was what they had in mind.

It was a bonus that we ended up playing the Albert – the place is legendary, and it has always been a dream of mine to play here. That alone was worth the entire trip for me personally.

Saturday, March 21 @The Club in Regina w/ Sharp Ends, The Lambta Da’s (W)

The worst part of this trip was driving through the Prairies. Sharp Ends dubbed this the “Wasteland Tour” after all of our driving days were through dirty, winter praries with overcast grey skies and hours upon hours of driving through nothingness. Even though I have a lot of love for the Prairies, the overall bleakness of the weather and the scenery kind of took its toll on all of us.

By the time we got to Regina, it was cold and windy. Giant lakes of runoff and slush meant that most of us had wet feet for the rest of the night. The Club was this nondescript brick building in some sort of pseudo commercial/industrial part of town. We got there early and loaded in, then went for the worst meal of our lives at a Bonanza a block over. By 10pm, there were 0 people there, except for one annoyed looking bartender. Lambta Da’s, which is Dave from The Hot Blood Bombers, played some super depressing folk songs which I liked a great deal. we played next to a crowd of 15 or so people. Chris Z from Sharp Ends said afterwards that this was his favourite set of the three we played together, which meant a lot to me personally.We just kind of took over half the room and did the last breath of a dying man type of performance. More dues paying.

Sharp Ends were amazing this whole little tour – super funny, honest, hardworking people that they are. This band is gonna be huge, and rightly so – it was a priveledge and an honour to play with them.

Playing with our favourite bands. This is pretty much going to be the best thing ever! If you want to come, better get your tickets sooner than later, as this one should be a sell out.

We are going on tour with our buds in Sharp Ends in 8 days. 3 days “Prairie Fuckfest!” It almost fell apart due to our original venue cancelling us, but then we found a way better venue (The Royal Albert Arms no less!), and made some new band friends in Winnipeg’s Haunter. Also playing with new friends Feral Children and Dave from Hot Blood Bombers solo project the Lambta Da’s.

Here are the posters!!

And for the Winnipeg show:

And don’t forget – Lethbridge this weekend!!

Our 1979 Ford Econoline is a beast, but it has a new tranny, 30,000 on a new motor. Original owner (who was a mechanic) babied this thing and it had been wasing away since they bought a camper-van. It just had too much sentimental value to the family to get rid of, and they jumped at my “looking for a Van” post on Kijiji.

Love U new Endangered Ape van.

We parted ways with Stu on drums. I’m feeling really shitty about it because a) Stu is the raddest guy ever b) because he is an even better drummer. I really screwed up in my handling of it (I just kind of dropped the bomb out of thin air), and I think Stu is kind of pissed at me over the whole thing. Rightfully so. He definitely deserved better after all the work he did with us – it just wasn’t working out with him being three hours away and with us not being able to practice on the schedule we had been.  (On that note, if you are in Calgary, hit him up for drums, seriously).

We did a nice recording session in Calgary over New Years with Thee Thems/Sub-Linguals mad genius Ryan Saddler (some of which you can hear on the Myspace player). Really happy how these turned out. A 7″ is going to press soon via Vancouver’s Geographing records, and another EP will come out in time for our big tour.

Which is the next thing: we are going on tour! Two of them actually – one next month, whereby we are going to Winnipeg and back, playing a couple Saskatchewan shows in between (Medicine Hat / Lethbridge / Moose Jaw or Saskatoon (still being booked) / Winnipeg / Regina between March 17 – 21)

Then in May, we are heading to the East Coast and back, hooking up with friends along the way between May 1-18. We are getting desperate in some areas (Northern Ontario!!), but some things are coming together nicely

Here are some shows that are coming up and or have being worked on:

2/14/2009      CKXU <3’s U w/ Chief Mountain and many, many more
2/18/2009     Calgary@The Ship and Anchor W/ Miesha and the Spanks / Hot Blood Bombers
3/13/2009     Calgary@The Palomino w/ Fox Opera, Hunter/Gatherer
3/14/2009     Lethbridge@The GCBC Lounge w/ The Fox Opera Hunter/Gatherer
3/18)2009     Lethbridge @ The Zoo W/ BA Johnston, The Stables
3/19/2009     TBA
3/20/2009     Winnipeg @ Cre8ery Gallery w/ Sharp Ends
3/21/2009     Regina @ The Club W/ Sharp Ends
5/1/2009    Winnipeg, MB (w/ THE GORGON)
5/2/2009    Thunder Bay, ON    (HELP!)
5/3/2009    Sault St. Marie, ON (HELP!)
5/4/2009    Toronto, ON (HELP!)
5/5/2009    Hamilton, ON @ The Cashbah
5/6/2009    Toronto, ON
5/7/2009    Ottawa, ON ROCK ‘N ROLL PIZZA PARTY!
5/8/2009    Montreal, QU,    Squalor (w/The O’Voids)
5/9/2009    Frederickton, NB
5/10/2009    Moncton, NB
5/11/2009    Sackville, NB
5/12/2009    Halifax, NS @ Gus’s Pub
5/13/2009    Sydney, NS
5/14/2009    Quebec City or MONTREAL?
5/15/2009    Sudbury or Thunder Bay
5/16/2009    THUNDER BAY or Winnipeg
5/17/2009 WINNIPEG or REGINA?

Next Christmas, we hope you live to see

Next Christmas, we hope you make it through

Next Christmas, so we can forget last Christmas

When everything went south

Like when your car went of the road

In that terrible storm near Okatoks

You never felt so cold…

Or when you drove for three days straight

Snuck into the United States

To play in some empty bars

Next Christmas, we hope you’re around

Next Christmas, we hope you don’t give up

Next Christmas, we can forget last christmas

When everything went wrong

Broken amps, broken hips

Asthma attacks and hospital trips

They will all heal soon

Venues close for reasons no one knows

Scrambling to find some basement shows

To bore some crusty punks!

oooohhhh

MERRY SHITMAS!

Calgary had a very solid lineup, as we played with three of our favourite Calgary bands that are active right now – Sharp Ends (who we played with at the University of Lethbridge Zoo a few weeks back, and whom we love immensely), Thee Thems (who totally fucking rule – two of the three were part of Endangered Ape fav’s The Cryptomaniacs as well), and The Pine Tarts (who are so much fun to watch). We took the opening spot bullet and played for a largely unenthusiastic Calgary crowd (The Palomino was packed with people). Sadly, the stars did not align, and we played a more or less terrible set. Some people said that they liked it anyways, but it didn’t feel good, and we were all feeling pretty bummed about it (especially after the nice things FFWD and Beatroute said to hype the show). The rest of the bands killed it though, and we had a good time in spite of ourselves.

Everyone had a place to crash, but Jane, Connor and I  were going to go stay with Chris Z from Sharp Ends and Jessie P from Pine Tarts house, but at 3 am, they were looking to party and we were looking to sleep. So we ended up checking into the worlds scaries hotel – The “Un”-Savoury Motel, which was the shittiest motel I have ever seen in my life, but the only one with vacancy in the area… bad enough that Jane and I slept in Sleeping Bags to avoid pubic lice from the bed.

Day two we headed to Edmonton, which I am now re-naming “Trenchfoot City”, as the second we got out of the car, all of us had soaking wet shoes and socks for the rest of the trip (note to self: bring extra shoes and socks when going to Trenchfoot City in the winter. We arrived and went to hang out with our buds The Wicked Awesomes, and then we ate and headed to Hooliganz, a sweet little venue that reminded me (a little) of Lethbridge’s Tongue and Groove (RIP!). Pine Tarts warmed up the crowd (and our hearts), and were generally on their A-Game. We played second, and with a great deal to prove to ourselves from the night before, proceeded to “kill it”. I would say it was our second best show in Endangered Ape history (with our end of tour show at the Palomino in August being our best). Too bad the show didn’t get promoted enough in Edmonton, as we played to roughly a quarter of the audience we played to in Calgary. The Wicked Awesomes also had a great set (I love that all of us in Endangered Ape can sing along to every song, makes playing with them a great deal of fun, though I am dying to hear their new stuff). Los Cremators ended the night in Lucador masks and awesome rockabilly instrumentals.

We all ended up sleeping at Owen and Lucas Awesome’s new house (along with the Pine Tarts – I think there were like 10 people crashing their, which I’m sure their roomates loved). Ended up “sleeping” on a hardwood floor for like 15 minutes, before Pine Tarts/Sharp Ends drummer “The Nuder”, one of the funniest people I know, decided to come into the room and be hilarious for the rest of the night. For example, Adam was up to his old tricks (aka snoring like a warthog), and The Nuder was like “I have a special trick to get people to stop snoring – watch this…” and then he started making these ocean sounds, which didn’t work because Adam was wearing earplugs. Thus, Plan B was hatched, aka yelling at Adam until he woke up. Funny shit.

Day three, Los Cremators and Pine Tarts were supposed to come to Lethbridge, but then Mother Nature decided to shit all over those plans and dump a load of snow all over the highways. Los Cremators bailed because of the road conditions, then Pine Tarts, having driven from Edmonton to Calgary in these conditions, bailed as well. Then the car with Adam, Kent, and Stu went of the road near Okatoks. Everyone survived, but it was the final nail in the coffin of the show – Stu decided to stay in Calgary to avoid driving back after the show.

The show went on without us, and Menehune played with Lustre Cream. Adam, Jane and I went to The Slice anyway to see Menehune’s debut as a three piece, which turned into a two-piece because Clayton, their drummer, had the flu… a cursed show. Adam and I did a couple of Endangered Ape acoustic songs as well, which was fun (our set list was Down With The Gullwing Doors, Variations on a Theme, Tales of Survivalist Horror 1, and Future Kings Demand It). Jane took video, so maybe I’ll post some later.

All in all, it was a fun weekend, even with the intensity of mother nature.

Calgary – L

Edmonton – W

Lethbridge – N/A
Here is video someone from a group called Psychic Pollution took of us in Calgary

The Wicked Awesomes! – ’80GB iPod’

Sharp Ends – ??? (brand new song)